Funny Stuff

I'm going to keep a running post on the funniest stuff that has happened. Cultural misunderstandings, the family or mostly Reme yelling at us, and above all Eddie. Eddie and I tend to feed off each other, and he's a veritable fountain of hilarity most days. In no particular order (I'm only going to leave out the most profane stuff so some of this will reflect our age, gender, and may be slightly offensive. I reserve the right to omit context. Enjoy):

• "Yeah man. That's why you absolutely have to dry hump naked."--Eddie Lipsey everybody.
• Eddie walks into the room where I'm sitting on my computer in the dark. "Hey man, can I turn the light on?" "Nah I like it like this." "Look man, Im black and I'm about to Skype. You know where this is going."
• Eddie and I are discussing wearing shoes because he's saying he doesn't like it and realistically it's too hot to have shoes on in the apartment most of the time. I commented that I feel naked shoeless because I always think 'what if I have to run somewhere?' Eddie responds: "I run faster barefoot. I think it's just a slave thing."
• We're sitting in Spanish, going over homework exercises and Eddie says "Man I am screwed." Our ancient old spanish teacher who is an awesome lady just gave him the death stare because we're not supposed to talk in English, so he turns around and goes "help me out man." "'estoy chingado' say that." Eddie dutifully repeats it loudly as I break down into a giggle fit. Estoy chingado=I'm fucked. The teacher got awfully stern with poor Eddie after that. He'll get me back I'm sure.
• Last night I got yelled at twice during dinner for eating salchicha improperly. Talk about cultural differences. Salchicha is just like salami roughly and I was cutting it with a fork. Reme goes "oy, Silas no. No haces esto. Usa esto" and hands me a knife to cut with. It's freaking salami and the fork was just fine but whatever. So she leaves the room to do something and a minute later I start cutting with the knife, at which point Pablo and Juan Antonio lay into me with "AY, Silas, que estas haciendo? Esto se come con sus manos" 'No no, not like that. You eat it with your hands.' Whatever.
• Last thing I can remember right this moment is how last night after everybody got back from exercising in the park--Eddie and I running, Reme and Juan Antonio walking--I was first tto shower. Got it done in like 10 minutes and, typical of me, left the light on. Mentally I assumed someone would be right in behind me what with everyone just finishing up working out. The door shut on its own. An hour later when we all sat down for dinner Reme lays into me about taking so much time in the bathroom? I didn't get it. 10 minutes is too much? This isn't New guinea or something for God's sake. Turns out with the light on and door closed they assumed I was in there for an hour. Never knocked. Never yelled to see if it was occupied. Never stopped to think "well he never takes that long, never has in his time here". No. Just yelling about the light and keeping the bathroom occupied for an hour. Ridiculous.